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KiD
Karl 'Jefferson' Jones '''(circa 1800-2001, then 2001-2010?) is a fictional character, also known as '''The Firebird, Lionheart, KiD, Evil-Norman Wisdom, The Enforcer, and 'Young Buck' 'Bucky Young Jr'. He competed in several fake-fighting on the internet websites. KiD is gay :P From me, the real KiD: ^^I don't know who wrote that, but that's hilarious! Autobiography Karl Jones or KiD (which stands for Krazy Insane Dancer) was born in south Vietnam to two coal miners, and Daryl Hannah. Sometimes he dresses up like a horse and tries to get himself entered into the Grand National. The reason he does this is because you see KiD has magical powers given to him by an elf named Wiggles. One quiet Sunday afternoon when the young KiD (then only 23 years old) was wandering through the woods near his hut, he pulled the thorn from Wiggles' toe and helped him set up his broadband connection. In gratitude for his aid, Wiggles gave him one wish. KiD wished to have all the powers of a horse with none of the horse related issues. Such love of sugar cubes and being ridden by upper class little girls. Also sometimes KiD would wrestle. And boy howdy would he do it! Sometimes he'd wrestle three men at once! Sometimes just one. Sometimes he'd just wrestle the wind... In the ring In the ring he was flawless, defeating everyone from Job Guy 1 to Job Guy 9 with ease. Even wrestling Token Lesbian, Token Goth and Token Angsty Guy and beating them! It was like something you've heard over and over somewhere else, only with more amazement for he was KiD!! He managed to be a millionaire within a week of debuting and within two he was world champion defeating (ALIAS) THE CHAMP in a flaming death match, where THE CHAMP died from being a loser. Years passed, KiD racked up wins and more wins, and more wins and more wins, and more wins, and more wins and more wins and more wins and more wins. And more wins and more wins, and more wins, and more wins and more wins and more wins and more wins... *pauses for breathe* and more wins and more wins, and more wins, and more wins and more wins and more wins and more wins. *pauses again for a breathe* and more wins and more wins, and more wins, and more wins and more wins and more wins and more wins.... And then KiD LOST to his long lost twin-brother Earl the Sinister. So he retired for an hour and a half. KiD then returned and had more wins. It turned out Earl and KiD both though the other had died, for conviencence of plot they had somehow moved to two different towns nowhere near their birthplace to live on the streets and somehow managed to become wrestlers and suddenly ... THEY HATE EACH OTHER! So they fight, a lot. Then they became friends again, with no real explanation... I'd guess they got bored? Everyone was all "WOW", "OOH", "AHH" - THIS IS TRES DRAMATIC, INNIT, LAAAAADS? Fred fucking Williard Durng one of his most infamous battles was against comedic actor Fred Willard. The ring was bathed in blood and at the end of what was a nine day war, that saw everything from steel chairs to William Shatner used as a weapon they were both down in the center of the ring and KiD managed to pin Fred, with his tongue, because he has lost all his limbs when Williard's devious Mexican Assassin EL DIABLO SMYTH hit him with a truck. The whole world exploded as a result of this match. Men, women and cats all had orgasms as KiD celebrated and was carried on the shoulders of God Almighty himself towards an orgy of wild sex and a cheese based buffet. While Fred Willard returned to his first love, teaching inner city school kids how to dance. Until... Upon returning from his third retirement, KiD was wrestling MARVIN THE EASILY DEFEATABLE, when The Ghost of Joe DiMaggio descended from the rafters wielding a bowie knife (invented by rock superstar and hunting enthusiast Lord David Bowie) and killed him where he stood. KID died in the ring, was brought to the hospital and somehow survived. His brother (no, not that one, his secret brother TaD) even visited him in the hospital and tried to kill him again, but failed somehow. Probably because it would've been substantially difficult to continue writing about KiD if he died. So KiD got out of hospital ten seconds after going in and being dead, he walked out perfectly fine. With a brand new hat! They had a match, but it was so excellent, so earth shattering, so orgasmic that everyone who experienced it was instantly driven to blind themselves. So no record of it actually exists... What a guy... In 2003, KiD was part of a wrestling promotion, KCW, which promoted the following rule for its wrestlers to follow: : "6. Do not get mad if you lose a match. Everybody has to lose sometime, no matter how good you are. Also sometimes losing is required for an angle that I am putting you in. So don't whine about losing, if you do so I can promise you that you will not go anywhere in this fed. In fact, whining about a match will probably give you a tremendous losing streak." In 2010, KiD got mad at losing a match and complained to the owner. He went nowhere in the fed and was subsequently fired before his tremendous losing streak was given. Famous KiD quotes *"THATS NOT MY SANDWICH! THAT IS AN EPISODE OF HOUSE!" *"I do love onions" *"Sometimes I do think my dreams are like China in my hands" (upon hearing T'Pau's classic song of a similar name) *"Pow''dered'' Egg!?" *"This Jonas Brothers CD is the best thing I've bought since 1''99''3!" *"Does anyone know where I left my keys? I had them when I came in.... Hey Bobby!? D'you know where my keys are? ... MY KEYS! .... I WANNA GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME MILK! ... MILK! ...HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS!? ... Oh, they're in my pocket... NEVERMIND, THEY'RE IN MY POCKET!" Vital Statistics Height: Ten foot elevenish. Weight: Three cubic metres. Hometown: Baltimore, Space. Finishing Move: The Erotic Llama Manouvre Category:History